My Phobia
by meikouhaikitsune
Summary: Harry's fear is being away from his cupboard so the Dursley's never really complained...but he relates his cupboard to someone even better that he's waiting for, but his safeties aren't always there.
1. Chapter 1

Title: My Phobia  
Rating: NC - 17  
Summary: Harry's fear is being away from his cupboard so the Dursley's never really complained...but he relates his cupboard to someone even better that he's waiting for, but even then he doesn't always have his safeties.  
Warnings: Sexual situations between two males. Mind play, other things.  
Length: 1, 223

You see, I have this fear. I never, ever want to leave my cupboard, ever. I don't want to meet new people. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to die.

When I leave my cupboard I get scared easily. It gets to the point I can't breathe because I'm so nervous. A little while after that, things start to blow up.

When that happens my uncle beats me, yelling about how I'm a 'Freak', and that's exactly who I am.

Harry Potter, The-Freak-Who-Lived.

Hogwarts closed down before my second year started. Its Voldemort's now. Dumbledore died the same night the stone was claimed.

That was five years ago.

Since the Muggles I live with are so cruel, I'm only ever able to read and sleep with the occasional meal. They stopped being my relatives when I found out I had a godfather, and of course the first time they almost starved me to death after Vernon had beat me.

It's been five years of finding salvation in books and sleep. I love my room, but I love my dreams just as much. You see, I dream of this man, he has eyes that remind me of Voldemort and oddly enough: it doesn't scare me.

I never did explain why Dumbledore died that night did I? Well, when I'm at Hogwarts, I try not to leave my dorm or the potions lab. We had rights to it for some odd reason. It was something about learning to control one's self during class. Maybe it was just me that had rights to it, and maybe those rights were actually detentions. I don't really remember at the moment, but either way; the potions lab was one of my very few havens.

I minded my own business at Hogwarts, everyone shunned me when I was sorted into Slytherin. I was ridiculed and teased. The Savior of The Wizarding World, in Slytherin? I think not. It was horrible, and it always frightened me to walk down a corridor by myself. The first month of term had barely gone by before I was ambushed. A lot of Gryffindors and Syltherins had thought it would be fun to see exactly how I had escaped Voldemort.

I barely made it out alive and I wouldn't have if not for Draco.

The days passed and I spent more and more time in my dorms, or in the potions lab. Professor Snape never minded me so long as I didn't blow up anything, he didn't even tease me like he did the other students. It was odd, but I was thankful, is opinion mattered to me, and if he hated me, I probably would have hated myself.

I didn't bother to even look into the rumors of there being an ancient artifact in the school. I did not read the papers since they only served to drag my name through ever evil and back, and I never received mail.

So when hundreds of people in the building turned to me for help when Dumbledore disappeared, I ignored them, and I did it as any Slytherin would. I used Poly Juice Potion, and I became a faceless nobody. I used an animagus potion so that all anybody saw was a green anaconda in the Slytherin Dormitory whenever they were looking for me.

Dumbledore died that night, and the thing is; I really didn't care. The man had done nothing but ruin my like. He took me from My Cupboard, he took me from my safety.

Back to my dreams though, did you know Voldemort likes to write? He does it almost every night, I know because I'm with him when he does. He asks my opinion on some things, and on others he'll sit over them and reread for hours before deciding their rubbish and set it a flame.

Other nights we sit and talk, he talks about his childhood at the orphanage, and how that when he was first growing up in a Muggle environment that he wanted to be a Police Detective. He wanted to solve murder cases and track down dealers. Its mostly fascinating on these nights, he's so…human.

We do puzzles too. It's such a Muggle thing that the first time he even suggested it, I knew that my face must have looked really funny because of the shocked and kind of laughing face I made.

I pull my covers over my head and huddle into the corner of My Cupboard as I hear a blood wrenching scream.

No.No.No.No.No.NO.

I'm not leaving My Cupboard. I'm not leaving my cupboard. I'm NOT LEAVING MY CUPBOARD.

My chest is rising and falling so quickly that it hurts, and I really can't seem to breathe as I try to suck air into my lungs as fast as I possible can.

There's a thunk before I can hear something heavy fall down each of the stairs from the top.

Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. It stopped at the landing, I guess it was to big to fall down the last to.

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I pull them to my chest, hoping upon my wildest dreams that it's just some Muggle robber, or a serial killer that chose the Dursleys as his unfortunate victims. That he doesn't know where I am and that there isn't a wizard in my house.

"YOU FREAK, GET YOUR MAGIC OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" I whimper, nonononononononoNO!

It isn't the Order, I know it isn't because if it was the attack wouldn't be violent. It would be manipulative and quick. That's just how Minnie is, and she's loads better at it then Dumbledore ever was.

I want to stay in My Cupboard, I want to go to sleep so my dreams can save me. I WANT TOM!!

"Oh, Potter!' No no no no no no no. I don't know that voice I don't know it at all, and who ever it is I want them to go AWAY!!

I whimper when there's movement right in front of My Cupboard and I almost die from lack of air as there's a soft chuckling before there's a click.

One.

Clank.

Two.

Snap.

Three.

Fush.

Four. Only one left, please don't let them find the key, please, please don't let them find it I beg to myself.

There's silence for a while and I almost think the person has given up before there's an explosion and I'm thrown against the shelves of My Cupboard and someone looks in.

It's a woman, with black hair, and black eyes. Her hair's curly and she's beautiful, but I don't know her. I'm afraid, I can't breathe.

There's an explosion behind her and her deranged smile turns to one of fear and nervousness as something else explodes.

I don't even think I'm breathing any more, there's another explosion and my chest feels like it's going to explode as well. I NEED AIR MERLIN DAMMIT!!

I can feel this floating sensation in my head, and I know I'm not going to be conscious much longer, I just won't, but it'll be fine because my breathing will finally return to normal and I'll see Voldemort.

I black out after I hear a scream of pain, and I realize that I'll be knocked out…I won't be able to apologize.

I'm sorry Miss.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't remember falling asleep. It's hard to explain I suppose. It's like one of those times that you fall asleep and then wake up, and you wonder to yourself; I fell asleep?

My chest hurt a little as I took breaths of air, and my throat was soar. I guess I had an attack, other wise I would remember falling asleep, right?

Well anyways, when I opened my eyes I didn't recognize where I was, but I did, or rather my mind did. It's sort of like I'm dreaming, because this IS the bed I'm in when I'm dreaming; it's where I come every night, but wait that means…

"TOM!!" I yell out as I jump from the bed, if this is really like my dreams he'll be here!

"TOM!!" I yell out again, and this time I'm sliding on the bathroom floor as my socks propel me forward instead of letting me stop like I wanted to. But I guess that's okay because I slid right into the hard chest of the man I was yelling for.

He looks down at me with soft crimson eyes and I can't help but beam up at him. This is Tom, Tom Riddle and he's in my dreams every night. He's Voldemort, and he's My Cupboard. He's safe.

He smiles fondly when I wrap my arms around his middle and start talking.

"I don't know how I fell asleep but I'm so glad I did. There were screams you see, at the Dursley's earlier and I thought it was a muggle robber but it ended up being this Witch and when she finally made it to My Cupbo-"

"Harry!" There was a soft chuckle, "My little one, this is no dream. You are here, you're at my home. The woman who you saw was Bellatrix LeStrange. She wasn't supposed to cause you harm though, did she?" Tom asked seriously, I shook my head and began to cling to his waist, burrowing against his chest and under his arm.

"No Tommy," I mumble, "I was just scared, I didn't want to leave My Cupboard." He nodded as he ran his fingers through my hair, I smiled.

"Are you afraid now little emerald?"

"No,"

"And why not?" BECAUSE YOU'RE TOM!! My mind had screamed, because it was true, Tom was safe Tom was like My Cupboard and I'd say it again and again until I died.

"Because it's you, and you're just like My Cupboard; safe." I said for the first time aloud. He smiled, a true soft smile, so unlike the ones he shows his followers and I can't help but smile too.

I can't breathe, and this time it's not because I'm nervous. It's because he's smiling and to me, he looks breathtakingly beautiful.


	3. Chapter 3

His followers don't know me though, he refers to me as Emerald – Tommy always has. He doesn't want them to know me, want them to see me. He wants me all to him self, because he knows I don't want anyone that isn't him, and nothing that's not my cupboard.

His bed is always like my cupboard, but it's different too. It's like…being locked away with everything you've every loved and everything that has ever kept you safe, and I like it more than my cupboard because it's Tommy's and Tom has always been better than My Cupboard.

He wanted me to stay in bed, but he really didn't have to ask. His smell is like being told I'm free but never being asked to leave. It makes me dizzy as I rub my face into the bed; the sheets making my face tingle as a giggle bubbles up in my throat.

It's like all my focus is on his smell because I'm practically bathing in it as I writhe on his bed. Tom is much better than My Cupboard.

I'm torn away form all that though when I feel Tom coming. Well…that's weird; I guess you wouldn't understand that would you. I have a connection to him, see? It's through my scar, and I can feel him, and I know when it's Tom, and it takes me to my dreams where I'm safe with Tom, safer than My Cupboard.

I smile when he walks into the room, his shirt amiss, and his tie loosened.

"Tom," I reach my arms up, and he sweeps me into his own. I take a deep breath of him even though I've been basking in his bed and smile contently as I nuzzle against the nape of his neck, "Dumb Death Eaters?" I murmur.

"Very, very idiotic, yes; there was a raid not too long ago and one of them was captured."

"Well, can't you just kill them?" I asked. Really Tom was the Dark Lord, he could do anything. Anything he wanted, I bet. He's laughing now as he holds me and I squeal in delight as he swings us around in circles.

I awoke later, smiling as I snuggled down into Tom's scent. If I didn't open my eyes, I didn't have to see anything. When Tommy is with me though, I can block it out, and in my dreams he's there to keep me safe anyway.

"Harry..." I hear the whisper and shake my head, breathing Tom's scent in far deeper, my breathing becoming broken as I feel eyes stare at me.

It's why the Dursleys let me stay in My Cupboard. Then I wouldn't see them, they wouldn't see me and know; they wouldn't know without a doubt I could see and hear them, which was terrifying. Seeing the dead...it's like nothing you'll ever experience. The alive are bad enough, but the dead, they never go away. They're always there and they stare, and they speak and you can't get rid of them.

"I know you can hear me...You looked straight at me when you first arrived, Harry."

I shake me head and pull the covers over my head. Not there, never there, this was why My Cupboard and Tom are safe and no where else is. This is why the hangings of his bed have been drawn, why are they open now? I whimper, keeping tight to the safety Tom's scent and covers give me. I won't see, I won't speak, I won't hear.

I feel the bed dip and scream. I scream long, loud and terrified. I scream so loudly I'm sure I'll turn myself death and mute. My throat burns but I suck in another breath and scream. I scream until I hear foot falls coming loud and repetitively. That doesn't stop me from continuing though.

Tom's door bursts open but I'm too terrified to even look, I scream, and scream and then there's someone ripping away my safety and pulling me into their arms. It's Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Safety. Tom's safe. I shudder and clutch him, hiding under one of his arms and burying my face in his side.

"Get him away, get him away from me, please, make him go away, make the voices stop, make them disappear." I plead, clutching his shirt with my hands, my entire body shuddering with the palpable fear I'm feeling. His arms hold me steady and one hand begins to go through my hair, trying to calm me as I shake it side to side. "Make them leave me alone."

"Who, Emerald?" Voldemort murmurs, holding me to him; frowning when my body continues shuddering with no signs of stopping.

"The people...you can't see them but I can. Make them go away, Tommy, they're going to drive me insane, make them go away."

"I'll try..." Voldemort said with slight understanding of what I'm was talking about. "I'll try to do as much as I can, but I don't really think I can do anything if they're not actually lucid."

"Then wipe the history of this place, delete every memory this place has... please, even if we have to create something, Promise me, Tommy..."

"I promise, Emerald." The man murmured, shocked slightly at the heights of my fear.

Nights became my solaces. I could rest and hide, and be free all at the same time. I was always safe in Tom's arms. I was always at home. Then he shared my dreams and I was content, I wouldn't wake for hours after he left the bed.

It was all right though because I was able to ignore what was there. When I was safe and content, they couldn't hurt me. They couldn't bother me; I wouldn't let them.

I always awoke in the afternoon unless Tom needed me otherwise. I would wake and venture into his closet, smelling his clothes as I chose an outfit for the day. I would drown myself in his scent. It was always something I could smell. Like someone spraying perfume in my face.

As I entered the room again, dressed in one of Tom's too big button down shirts and a pair of slacks there was a note on our bed.

_Meet me in my study, Emerald._

So I did. I walked quietly to his study, ignoring my surrounding until I was pushing the doors open. Tom was behind his desk with spectacles on, a pile of papers spread upon his desk.

"Tommy?"

He looked up and smiled at me, "come here, Emerald." He murmured, opening his arms to me. I sat in his lap without hesitance and snuggled against him, putting us as close as possible.

"Until I can find of a way to get rid of our…friends. Is there any other way I can help?" He asked, seeming almost desperate.

"I'm only safe with you and My Cupboard."

"Why?"

"Because I can't see them or hear them and they can't see me."

He smiled at me, a smirk really if you looked for it. He was smug. I smiled back.

He knew how to help me.

It wasn't until two days later I found out how. I'd just gotten out of the shower. Tommy had warded the entire room against visitors and outside sound before I would even get near it without him.

Besides that, though, I'd walked into the room to see Tommy fidgeting as he stood.

"I made you something, a cupboard away from your cupboard." Voldemort gestured to the fort in front of me, smiling as my eyes widened and my mouth opened slightly in shock.

"It's...for me?" I whispered, awe and surprise colouring my voice, I could tell. I'd never gotten anything before….never, and now. Now, I suddenly have this. Could Tom really give me such a precious thing without expecting anything in return? It made my head spin.

Tom nodded though with a laugh. "Yes, Emerald. It's all yours. I have a little something extra for you as well." He said with a grin, a grin at me that I only thought I'd see in my dreams where Tom wasn't Voldemort and only himself where he'd only be so with me.

Silently, he slipped the silver locket around my neck, my eyes widening again as I felt it. This was Tom, not his but him. This had apart of my Tom in it just like I had apart of him in me. He was giving me himself. How was I to show him how thankful I was? How much I didn't deserve it but wanted it so badly it almost ached?

"So you always have a bit of me, where ever you happen to go. Even though I'll try to never let you alone."

I could feel my eyes sting, but it wasn't with pain. I was happy, and I couldn't talk and all I could do was hug him and expand my senses, trying to take everything in. The wards he'd put up for me, to make me feel like I was in my dreams, like I was safe in My Cupboard. They'd keep any wandering spirits at bay.

Tom was so good to me... I couldn't help but hold him tighter, trying to make us one in the same, and keep me away from being apart from him. I clenched my hands in his shirt, soaring with his hands on me and his smell and aura all around me.

Even with him near me, I'd never remove either piece of soul from me, not now, not ever. Never.

I buried my face in Tom's neck and grinned, my body almost shaking with excitement, with happiness. My Tom, he was giving me another save haven, another Cupboard. He knew...he knew I needed it, he knew I needed him, that I practically lived off him. That with out him I would be nothing. I would be full of fear, and running, always running. I could see though, sense even, that he was happy for my happiness and that making me happy made him happy, but best of all. He knew what made me happy, and that was more than anything he could every give me was worth.


	4. Chapter 4

I listened as Tom woke up, almost sighing as he moved away from me and then the bed. I didn't want him to know I was awake though. He usually says more to me when he thinks I'm not listening than he does when I'm awake. I snuggled further into the blankets, wrapping them around me. I knew I did it in my sleep. Tom always teased that he'd go to the loo at night and come back to me wrapped in the blankets.

I heard him sigh and almost broke my act.

"You're going to have to get over your fears one day, Emerald; I just hope it doesn't shatter you." He murmured.

Oh, I felt my stomach drop somewhere beneath the bed. No more Tom. No more forts. I curled up under the blankets and ignored the voices entering my mind once Tom had left the room.

They always became stronger when he left the room. I had become convinced that his very presence warded them off. Occasionally, I would get an unusually persistent one that would make an appearance even though he was there but they could never come close. They could never hurt me when Tom was around.

He said that he would protect me from everything. What would happen to me once he left my side? It was a thought too terrifying to even consider, so I shut it out and hid under the blankets, waiting for the first of them to come. No more Tom... The world suddenly seemed like a large, dark and frightening place filled with the voices of those that went before.

"Come out, come out, little Harry!" One of them called, but it didn't scare me, which was weird. Maybe...the thought of losing my Tom or my fort or My Cupboard scared me more?

I pulled the blankets down and stared at the...girl. She was tall, and she had blonde hair. She seemed like someone you'd stay away from on April Fool's day. She smiled at me warmly and I felt off put because Every One I'd ever met had been ruthless and cruel.

"Hi."

"Hullo," she answered me, "how are you? How come you never let him know you're awake? He sounds so strange talking to someone that's not quite there."

"You're not quite there."

"To you I am,"

"Good point," I conceded.

"Do I scare you?" She asked softly, staring at my hands as I gripped the blankets with them. She looked melancholy.

"Aren't I supposed to be?"

"I don't want to hurt you, I just want a friend...I thought since you could See us you'd be my friend. I'm sorry. I don't mean to scare you."

"Oh, well my name's Harry, what's yours?"

"Selene!"

* * *

Tom did not return that day nor that night. Selene kept me company, chatting throughout the night but not even her sweet countenance could distract me from the itching, despairing loneliness that Tom's absence brought. Tom had always said before when he was going away. Why had he not now? Did it have something to do with what he'd said yesterday? That'd I'd have to stand on my own soon?

* * *

After so long, I knew that I was crazy. I knew this was wrong from the beginning; there were so many psychology books back in My Cupboard that proved it. Maybe it was severe Schizophrenia and Selena was just my imagination. Maybe I was just asleep. The thing that let me hang onto my sanity – or lack thereof – was that I could recognize I was different, but also that I wasn't hurting myself or anyone, so I just stayed quiet.

"Harry?" Selena murmured, lying with me on Tom's bed lazily.

"Red,"

"Green," Selena answered automatically.

"Why green?"

"Christmas, it's when I was killed, so many lights and decorations; a party to the death, such a wonderful present."

"Christmas at the Dursley's was all right once I decided I never wanted to leave My Cupboard. I started paying the Dursley's obscene amounts of money and in turn they ignored me except for meals so rich sometimes I wouldn't touch them. I think it was a better life."

"Why? Wouldn't you of rather of had friends? Gone to school?"

I laughed and the sound almost screamed pain.

"I can't, I couldn't - I don't interact well with people. I can't function in social situations, I have out bursts. I can't read body language. I just…can't do it. It feels awkward and when I get stuck I break down and I can't…can't…."

"Oh, well, you're doing just fine with me."

"That's because I can feel it like I feel my own emotions. That's a major reason most ghosts scare me; I can feel their intent.

"I'd be scared," Selena murmured.

"Yeah, most times…Hey, do you think if I concentrated on keeping our minds open, Tom could see you?"

"Why?"

"I want you to bring him home, I miss him… cor, I miss him." I finished in a murmur, sadness took over and I have to catch my breath. I move to lay down again before I topple. I can feel hands but then the ghost's touch makes my eyes burn in a way I'm disgusted with.

Tom.Tom.Tom.Tom.

No, My Cupboard. I needed My Cupboard. This wasn't Tom. No more, no more.

The hands disappear and I bury myself into the bed. I could sleep away my misery. Sleep forever. I felt magic envelop me. It is what I want, I closed my eyes and the world was dark.

* * *

It was very odd. I could feel magic. It was like being in a whole different world. I wasn't awake though, Selena had left, Tom had…disowned me.

Magic.

It felt…revitalizing, something I never wanted to let go.

But it wasn't my cupboard and I didn't have a Tom. I blocked it out and fell back into darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

"You can't live like this forever, Harry. He hasn't been back for over a month. You can't keep relying on him. You don't need him. You don't need your stupid Cup Board!"

I shook my head rapidly as I listened to her. She was wrong, I needed them. I whimpered, feeling myself shake rapidly.

"You're wrong! I need them, I do!" I scream, my eyes must have been crazed. I could feel something roaring inside me. Was it a rebellion to her words or a rebellion to my belief?

"Harry, it's holding you-"

"No, I won't I need them!! I can't, I can't!"

"We'll see if you can't once you haven't a Cup Board anymore!" She looked furious as she said this, murderous almost. I clenched my fingers and screamed. The roar snapped into silence before wind took to the room and all of the windows and mirrors shattered.

I felt it moving through my body and the loud roar that had fueled my anger now seemed to be a dull rumble, a purr almost.

My body felt euphoria, winded, free. I didn't feel a pull or anxiety. I felt light.

I looked up in amazement as I stared at Selena, "How?"

"You're magic, you're a wizard, Harry, your magic was hidden and you instinctively wanted to be safe. Your cupboard is the only place you were safe since you had Tom in your dreams. Magic you recognized. You held onto Tom's magic since when you were in your cupboard you could dream with him. Then you were here and Tom was here so his magic soothed your own, but you need your magic. Now you have it. You'll never be alone, afraid or weak again. You have your magic. Like a familiar. There's someone, something there, you only need to listen to it.

"Magic?" My voice was awestruck, even to my own ears.

"Yeah."

"Cor," my eyes were open and for the first time I could see everything but nothing at all.

It was like watching a movie. On, off, hold, rewind. I watched the past and the present fly by before me.

"Selena?"

"Welcome to my world, Harry."

"This is what you see?"

"Yes, it was pretty hard for me to get used to it as well, once I died. It's very...distracting."

"Yeah." I murmured, turning slightly to watch my surroundings change. "Is it always like this?"

"No, you can turn it on and off at will once you get used to it. Otherwise. it just comes to you. Sometimes you can concentrate on something or someone and you can get certain futures."

"So this is me? This is my magic? Not Tom's?"

"No, this is you, Harry. You can protect yourself now. You're strong."

I shuddered and slumped against Tom's bed. I would think my hands are shaking but I can't really tell in my detached state. But if I didn't need Tom or My Cupboard, what did I need?

What needed me?

I clutched the comforter and brought it to my face in a futile attempt to smell Tom on them. His scent had already disappeared.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

Selena's voice broke through my thoughts and I looked up at her, aware that I must look miserable. "Where?"

"Anywhere you want. You can See now. You can help people, you can help yourself, and you can hide. What do you want Harry?"

"I want Tom, but I don't want to be a child to him anymore."

"Then leave, learn your magic, help when you See and find him when you're ready."

"But I have nowhere to go. No money, no shelter, only here, only Tom. I don't want to go back to my Cup Board."

"I want to burn that stupid cup board to the ground and the muggles that were there with you. Wipe out your past so you have to start fresh."

"Yes."

"Wait? Yes, as in right now? Go burn the house down and then move on?"

"Yeah, why not?" I asked, my heart being quickly but oddly slow at the same time. The words that flowed out of my mouth came with a confidence I didn't know.

Selena didn't seem like she was going to question it, though. She must have realized if I thought about it, I might lose the blase nerve I'd found. She came over to me, a hand on my shoulder as she spoke, "Do you remember what the house looks like? What it Felt like?"

"Yes,"

"Close your eyes, Harry, and remember and then I want you to want to be there. Then I want you to breathe and realize you are."

I looked at her quizzically, nothing could be that easy. Not even with magic. I humored her though, closing my eyes and remembering how horrible it had always been there. How dead the house had felt, how muddled and weak and old. I took a deep breath, actually smelling the scent of the house. I was there, but no...

I opened my eyes and took an involuntary step back. I was in the sitting room, it was the late evening and it seemed everyone was in bed. I ran quickly and quietly into the kitchen, starting the fire on the stove. I reached for Aunt Petunia's dish towels, laying them on the stove, allowing them to hang over towards the floor and onto the counters.

As soon as the towels started to burn, I headed outside into the front yard. From there, I stood in a dark area beneath a tree a few houses down, watching as the house slowly caught aflame.

Where was there left to go now?

I could feel Selena's hand on my arm but I didn't look towards her. "We'll meet again someday, you'll need to focus now though. Think about where your wanted, Harry, and just let it pull you in. You're going to meet some crazy people along the way, but I'll always be here for you. I just need to do some things on my own."

"Where do I go?"

"Where does your instinct tell you do go?"

"I don't know..." Her hand moved away and I waited for her to continue. I turned though and she was gone. I was consumed by panic and a pain I think could be described as being alone and not wanting to be. I could feel my air coming and going faster and my panic continued.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. Where did I need to be....Where did I need to be...

I needed to be where I could get help, I needed to be somewhere I could grow, I needed to be somewhere I could learn to control my gift. I needed to be there. My breathing was even and I suddenly caught a whiff of something calming, it smelled pretty brash, but it calmed my nerves as I breathed it in.

When I opened my eyes again I was standing in a doorway between two rooms. The one in front of me was a calm avocado green and the one behind me was a light wheat color. I turned to the avocado green room and ended up face to face with someone.

"Hello, and who are you?" he asked calmly, "Because if you're Harry, I've been waiting a very long time for you. Same green eyes, same messy hair; you look a little worse for wear though."

"Who?"

"I'm Dorian, you're Harry, right?"

"Yes, why am I here though?"

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to be somewhere I could learn, somewhere I could get help and grow."

"Help with what?"

"With what I can do, what I see."

"Well, you've come to the right place, I don't know if I can help you grow though,"

"You can help me?"

"Of course I can, can't you Feel it? We're the same."

I tried to calm myself for a moment, taking in the area around me and realized that Dorian was right. We were the same. Dorian was over powering though and I pushed himself closer to the door frame of the walkway in slight unease.

The man in front of me had really long, thick hair that he kept in a braid that seemed never ending. It went over his shoulder and hung heavily just above his knee. Considering how tall he was, his hair seemed to be an entity all its own. I looked into his ice blue eyes, entranced by the white surrounding his pupil before it morphed to blue.

"That's your first lesson Harry, you need to be aware of everything around you. Even if it terrifies your or threatens you, you need to be aware of your surroundings. I'm going to give you a notebook, and you're going to write down everything you feel around you and as person. Even if its nonsensical or you think it's a minuscule or trivial thing. Even the smallest, unimportant detail counts. If you can't Feel it, you can't See it, you can't Hear it; you won't know it's there and you're setting yourself up for failure. If you're afraid of it, accept it; accept it and conquer your fears. You can't run away and hide because it scares you. Your fear is irrational. You know you can Feel them, so open your eyes and accept what you see. They're people just like us, look at them, observe them. Don't fear them, you're only giving them a power over you that they shouldn't have. Add dreams to things you right down as well, even day dreams."

"How do you know all of this?" I murmured in slight awe. I was confused and apprehensive, but this time, I was willing to learn.

"Don't you Know, Harry? I'm psychic."


End file.
